We all know Dr. Noble as a physics teacher, comic book enthusiast, and Eagles fan. But what secrets is he hiding? In this tell-all interview, we interviewed Dr. Noble on a variety of important matters, from his pigeon-carrying abilities to his adventures in Africa to his favorite flightless bird. It’s a common fact that Mr. Adams and Dr. Noble are best of buds, which is why we felt we had to use the same questions we asked Mr. Adams previously for a comprehensive analysis of their personalities. Feel free to pull up the Mr. Adams interview and put them side-by-side for the best comparison!
Nishka: I’m here with Dr. Noble to interview him. Okay, so question one. How long do you think you would survive in a zombie apocalypse?
Dr. Noble: Days, maybe.
Nishka: What are you basing your answer on?
Dr. Noble: Oh, I would get tired and eaten. Yeah, so I don’t think I would last very long.
Nishka: What would your strategy be?
Dr. Noble: Hide.
Nishka: Okay. On an average day, how many pigeons do you think you could reasonably carry?
Dr. Noble: How many pigeons? Hmm….
*Long pause*
Dr. Noble: Sorry, I’m trying to think. So I think that, I don’t know what a pigeon weighs, let’s say one pound, right? So it’s one pound. I bet I could at least do 300. But then, but then there’s the volume I consider, and I don’t think I could reasonably stack 300 pigeons on top of each other. And then it’s how do I carry the pigeons? Are they just sitting there, docile or whatever?
Nishka: You have to use your whole body, yeah.
Dr. Noble: Yeah, I have to put them in a crate or something. Uhm. Are they alive? Yeah. And I want them to stay alive? Okay, so that reduces the number.
Nishka: Yeah.
*Pause*
Nishka: Explain your thought process.
Dr. Noble: I’m imagining little cages that a pigeon would fit in. And I’m trying to figure out a layer. So I think a layer would probably be something like three by four. So that’s 12 pigeons. And then I’m just trying to decide how many layers I think I could reasonably carry. So I think a layer would be about that big. One, two, three, four, five, six. I could carry 60 pigeons.
Nishka: Okay. Next question is, what was your best-ever Halloween costume?
Dr. Noble: Uh…
*Long Pause*
Nishka: A lot of good options?
Dr. Noble: Um, I’m trying to think through a few of them. So I made a really good Frankenstein. I did… I think it was my group costume with Kate. We did Spider-Man and Ghost Spider, which is the Gwen Stacy Spider-Woman. But what Kate did was we did No Way Home style, like Peter’s homemade suit. And then she designed her own version of Gwen. So her costume was better. But I think that the group costume was probably the best.
Nishka: So you bought a costume?
Dr. Noble: No, we made it.
Nishka: Oh, wow.
Dr. Noble: I mean, we didn’t like sew together stuff, but we purchased different items that had different purposes and repurposed them. And then I painted like my gloves, I think, and Kate painted her hoodie.
Nishka: Cool! Okay, if you could be any Skittle, what color would you be? [Dr. Noble: Green] And you have to have a reason.
Dr. Noble: It’s the best-tasting one.
Nishka: Which one?
Dr. Noble: Green.
Nishka (struggling to hear): Grape?
Dr. Noble: Green. Green. Green. Lime.
Nishka: Oh, I thought green is apple.
Dr. Noble: Green was originally lime. And then at some point, they replaced it with Apple. Okay, in my opinion, nobody agrees with me, but in my opinion, the ranking of the original Skittles goes from best to worst: green, yellow, orange, purple, red. Okay.
And then with the changing of lime to green apple, now green apple is the worst. Okay. So, when I was in grad school I bought a big bag of Skittles, like you know, the big, like, giant party-size thing of skittles. And I organized that by flavor. And I was eating them from worst to best. So, over months I’m eating these skittles and I finally get back down to the best flavor, lime. It’s green apple.
Nishka: Wait, did they change it right before that?
Dr. Noble: Yeah, I didn’t know they changed it. And so, I mean, it’s not like I was buying Skittles regularly. So, I threw that bag away and didn’t eat Skittles again until they brought lime back, which they have done recently.
Nishka: Oh, interesting. Wow. How long did it take you to sort them?
Dr. Noble: Wow. Uhh, I was eating while I was watching TV, I guess. I don’t remember that part of it.
Nishka: So, your favorite Skittle is the lime Skittle.
Dr. Noble: Mhm.
Nishka: And it’s back now. Dr. Noble: I think so.
Nishka: Okay, so that counts. Okay. What’s the craziest thing on your bucket list? That’s school-appropriate.
Dr. Noble: So, an interesting question because I don’t know if I really have a bucket list. I’ve had life goals, but a lot of those goals were to start a family, have kids, all that kind of stuff. And I’ve recently done that and I haven’t like, and then kids are a lot of work. So, I haven’t really sat down and gone, what’s next?
Nishka: So, you don’t have anything like crazy, like, I don’t know, like skydiving?
Dr. Noble: Well, that sounds like a terrible idea.
Nishka: Um, like pottery, surfing?
Dr. Noble: No, I don’t, I don’t, I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. Sorry, it’s not an exciting answer.
Nishka: No, it’s okay. What’s the, okay, we can replace that with what’s the craziest thing you’ve done?
*Pause*
Dr. Noble: Hmm. So I lived in Africa for four years. And within that time, some of these were just me, some of these were with family, some of them were like Outward Bound things. I’ve been chased by a hippo, charged by a rhinoceros, stalked by lions, surrounded by warthogs, and… I’m feeling there’s another. Oh, robbed by baboons.
Nishka: Where was this? Where were you?
Dr. Noble: Botswana.
Nishka: And how did you get yourself in these situations?
Dr. Noble: Vacation. Just vacation.
Nishka: How did you escape the rhino?
Dr. Noble: We were in a car at the time. We backed up really, really fast.
Nishka: Which one was the scariest?
Dr. Noble: Strangely, the warthogs one, because I was out by myself. With a lot of the other ones, there were other people, but with the warthogs, it was just me.
Nishka: How big is a warthog?
Dr. Noble: It’s a boar. So a large pig. With tusks.
Nishka: Yeah, like from Lion King. Okay. What is your real favorite movie, and what movie do you pretend is your favorite to sound cultured?
Dr. Noble: Favorite movie is always tricky because it depends a little bit on like moods and stuff like that. But typically, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure is my favorite movie. But I don’t know if it’s to sound cultured, but, and it’s certainly highly ranked in my pantheon of movies, but I usually just say something like Empire Strikes Back from Star Wars, because it fits the image that I have created for myself.
Nishka: What’s the first movie about?
Dr. Noble: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. It’s about two kids who want to graduate from high school, but they need to pass a history report to do it. But all they really want to do is practice playing music in their garage, because they want to be a famous rock band. But it turns out they become a famous rock band and unite the earth and bring peace to it in the future. So a person comes back, but they need to pass this history report to do it. So a guy comes back from the future to lend them a time machine so they can go through history and put together the history reports so they don’t have to break up the band and therefore destroy the future.
Nishka: Okay, so this, this doesn’t fit your image?
Dr. Noble: It probably does, too, yeah. I don’t know, because you’ve seen most people have at least heard of Star Wars. Have you heard of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure?
Nishka: No… got it. Second to last question. What’s something about you that people would be surprised to know?
Dr. Noble: Something about me that people would be surprised to know. Is it surprising that I cry more during movies than my wife does?
Nishka: Uhm.
Dr. Noble: That fits, right?
Nishka: Yeah, it could, I don’t know. It’s not that surprising.
Dr. Noble: I don’t know. That’s a hard question to answer, because I feel like I wear… I don’t really hide things about myself.
Nishka: Yeah, no, that fits. I think I was surprised at the rhino thing. I didn’t imagine you getting chased by a rhino.
Dr. Noble: Well, I’m smaller than the Rhino. Yeah, no, it was a game reserve and we were just driving around trying to look at animals. So we were in a car and the Rhino was like, oh no, you don’t, and the Rhinos are big.
Nishka: Yeah, okay. Last question. What is your favorite flightless bird?
Dr. Noble: Well, the only one I’ve ever actually eaten is an ostrich, and it’s delicious. I’m gonna say ostrich.
Nishka: I wasn’t talking about to eat, but that also works, I guess.
Dr. Noble: Warthog is also delicious, by the way.
Nishka: Oh, so you got your revenge.
Dr. Noble: Well, yeah, it wasn’t the same Warthog, but yes.
Nishka: Okay, so your favorite flightless bird would be the ostrich. Yeah, I wouldn’t eat a penguin. Okay. Is it your generally favorite flightless bird, or just because you grade birds by how tasty they are?
Dr. Noble: I’m trying to think about other birds that are flightless. Are turkeys flightless?
Nishka: Because they’re yummy?
Dr. Noble: They are yummy.
Nishka: They are not flightless.
Dr. Noble: Because there’s turkeys that live near my house and I’ve seen them fly.
Nishka: Flamingos, penguins.
Dr. Noble: Flamingos are not flightless.
Nishka: Are they not?
Dr. Noble: No, flamingos definitely fly.
Nishka: But they’re so big.
Dr. Noble: Yeah.
Nishka: Really?
Dr. Noble: Yeah.
Nishka: Oh my God. I did not know that.
Dr. Noble: Yeah, I don’t think there’s a ton. There’s like emus, there’s penguins, there’s…
Nishka: Have you ever seen a flamingo fly?
Dr. Noble: I’ve seen videos of them flying.
Nishka: Oh, wow. Okay.
Dr. Noble: I think.
Nishka: Ostrich, kiwi, emu…
Dr. Noble: Kiwis are flightless? They’re pretty cute.
Nishka: Yeah, they’re really small.
Dr. Noble: I’ve never been to New Zealand. You know what? I want to go to the Lord of the Rings places in New Zealand. We can put that on a bucket list.
Nishka: Okay, got it.
Dr. Noble: I want to go to Australia, too. I’ve never been to Australia. I’ve been to a lot of places, but not Australia.
Nishka: Australia scares me.
Dr. Noble: I mean, there’s the dodo. That’s interesting. I mean, yeah, but… My wife did study abroad in Australia. So I figure she can just show me around and keep me safe.
Nishka: Okay, I think that’s the end of the interview.
Dr. Noble: Yeah, I think I’m still going to go with Ostrich. Penguins are cute, though. Little blue ones.
Nishka: Are you looking at penguin pictures?
Dr. Noble: I am looking at flightless bird pictures.
Nishka: Is there anything… Wait, I still can’t believe that flamingos are…
Dr. Noble: Is this like some sort of secret personality test?
Nishka: No. No, it’s not. But we might analyze your and Mr. Adams’ responses.
Dr. Noble: I feel like Mr. Adams would survive a lot longer than I would.
Nishka: Do you want to hear what he said?
Dr. Noble: Sure.