5 a.m. morning routines, pilates workouts, 10-step skincare rituals, daily journaling, drinking cleanse juices, eating healthy, running marathons: these are all the things “that girl” does that you don’t. You sit curled up on your couch in your dirty hoodie, tired of seeing her glossy skin and hearing her soft voice-over, but the Internet just keeps spitting the same videos of her back to you. You’ve seen her so much, but who even is “that girl”?
The #ThatGirl trend originated on TikTok in the spring of 2021 and took the Internet by storm, presenting a perfectly curated version of feminine life. Amid the turmoil of the COVID-19 pandemic, during a time when we were all restricted to a sedentary lifestyle, #ThatGirl was a way for users to promote health and wellness in their daily lives. It was a creative way to bring people together, breaking their isolation and motivating them to become the best versions of themselves.
Many participated in this trend with high hopes, unaware of its negative effects. TikTok videos, Instagram reels, and even longer YouTube videos became filled with creators attempting the “That Girl Morning Routine” or the “That Girl Diet.” From there, the trend branched off into various subtrends, modified to fit fitness influencers, business women, food bloggers, and fashion experts. Each group added their own elements, feeding into the toxicity of the #ThatGirl trend, a trend that was already infiltrating the corners of social media.
In the beginning, these videos were received with enthusiasm by a supportive community, as is the case with many online trends. “That girl” was marketed with her soft aesthetic, appealing to the feminine gaze through Pinterest-worthy pictures of pastel-colored matcha lattes and luxurious perfumes. It was a picture-perfect lifestyle meant to encourage a generation of aspiring, young women, but it ended up doing more bad than good.
The goal of “that girl” was, ultimately, to inspire. There’s nothing inherently wrong about the principles it promotes; in fact, they’re all beneficial to our health. The problem arises when we realize that it sets unattainable standards but delivers the message in a way that lures viewers into thinking that their life problems could be solved with this lifestyle. The false presentation of a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, coupled with a rigid aesthetic of slim figures, fair skin, and conventional beauty, distorts our perception of life.
Trends like this reinforce a singular, unrealistic ideal, particularly for adolescents who are just starting to figure out their identities and interests in life. Feeding this version of a perfect body, a perfect diet, a perfect workout routine, and a perfect life to viewers makes them crave a similar lifestyle. In this society, where we already expend so much energy and time scrutinizing our looks and success, “that girl” only perpetuates the negative feelings we have toward our lives. As viewers compare themselves to the women who seem to have it all figured out, many feel hugely frustrated as they look at the chaos of their own lives. They realize that they will never be “that girl.”
But perhaps that isn’t such a bad thing after all. Under the flawless image of “that girl” on your screen is a world of problems you wouldn’t want in your life. While it seems to be about being your best self on the surface, the trend is fixated on hyperproductivity and elements of physical appearance that only set us up for failure. The idea that we need to be waking up early, meditating, journaling, exercising, and doing everything perfectly at all times quickly burns us out. There’s no room to recover or mess up because the #ThatGirl trend implicitly shames those who don’t have their lives completely together. Our worth becomes measured by how many activities we can stuff into everyday, and the constant content flooding into our feeds only worsens our feeling of incompetence as we see other girls with their lives seemingly all organized. But in reality, they don’t either.
As is with much of the content we see online, the videos under the #ThatGirl hashtag are polished for the public. They are meticulously set up to capture the cleanest, most productive, and most aesthetic moments of their lives to be presented for external approval. Of course life looks perfect through the lens of an influencer’s camera because it’s intended to appeal to the public’s taste for enjoyment and elegance instead of truthfully capturing the mundane reality of life.
Beneath all that, however, are real people who take days off, have cheat meals, and have problems that they seek to conceal through their curated content. In fact, their unhealthy obsession over self-improvement could ultimately be a projection and distraction from what’s going on internally. Focusing on one aspect of life or appearance is often a sign of personal issues that aren’t being properly addressed. Similar symptoms of fixating over self-image, villainizing laziness, and abiding by rigid routines are seen in common physical and mental illnesses (e.g. eating disorders). Whether they realize it or not, the people making #ThatGirl videos could be suffering from these disorders and encouraging similar behaviors in their viewers.
At the end of the day, it’s not the message but the intoxicating manner in which it’s executed that is the problem of the #ThatGirl trend. In today’s society, we’re comparing ourselves more than ever, and we don’t need another toxic obsession to complicate our lives with. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, but it can be done in a way that’s healthy and intentional. Instead of chasing to be “that girl,” you should focus on being “this girl” by balancing your life with what feels attainable and important to you.
Sources
Kanaskar, Kruti. “Why TikTok Trends turn Toxic: A ‘That Girl’ Analysis.” Medium, 17 February 2022, https://medium.com/the-pink/why-tiktok-trends-turn-toxic-a-that-girl-analysis-eaf0c7c75990. Accessed 13 March 2025.
Porter, Alice. “#ThatGirl is taking over TikTok, but what’s behind the viral trend and why is it potentially doing more harm than good?” Glamour, 25 October 2021, https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/that-girl-tiktok. Accessed 19 March 2025.
Secrest, Pema. “The Toxicity of “That Girl” and how she F&%&@d everyone up.” The Eagle Times, 30 March 2023, https://aghseagletimes.com/5720/showcase/the-toxicity-of-that-girl-and-how-she-fd-everyone-up/. Accessed 13 March 2025.
Sims, Maddy. “Why Therapists Hate TikTok’s ‘That Girl’ Trend.” The Wellnest, 18 August 2022, https://www.humnutrition.com/blog/that-girl/?srsltid=AfmBOoqs8xEAze12D6lQE7v6GpIEbR5IhkZKKpkXcwsOj8TnCf1wSWtk. Accessed 18 March 2025.
Varin, Kaitlyn. “Is the “That Girl” Trend Toxic?” Medium, 22 June 2021, https://kaitlynvarin.medium.com/is-the-that-girl-trend-toxic-2b90a4074d5f. Accessed 13 March 2025.
Wallis, Jasmine. “Why the ‘that girl’ TikTok trend is more sinister than it seems.” Fashion Journal, 12 May 2021, https://fashionjournal.com.au/life/tiktok-trend-that-girl/. Accessed 19 March 2025.