Previously published Feb 26. 2021

Disclaimer: The Bunion is not responsible for any bad grades, missed homework, angry teachers, and/or broken hearts this Valentine’s Day. May you always read The Bunion and never actually have a bunion.

Then

Around the corner, a lady dressed in a Victorian gown is seen walking towards a puddle of mud. Yes, there is a path around the dirt, but a woman must continue marching forward with her chin up; there is no room for detours.

• Oh whatever shall we do? It’s not like she can walk around.
• *gasp* Of course she can’t walk around! How can a woman abandon her pride like that?
• Taking a detour means looking down. Such a disgrace!
• But oh look! Is that…
• Oh my!

A man in a tailcoat enters the scene taking long strides towards the aloof woman. He notices the calamity ahead of her and changes his course towards the mire. In a swift move, his coat was on the floor right as the women’s heel touched the edge of the puddle. The women glanced at the broad figure at her side. An arm extended to her and she almost took it, but immediately pulled back. She flicked her head and proceeded to walk on his coat.

• It’s a pity.
• He was so good-looking too!
• He just needed a watch.
• To make a pair of two.

Now

Down the street, a woman walks into a cafe, entranced by the Instagram stories she is scrolling through. She sits down at a table and looks up for a moment to tell the waiter that she wants her regular order. He nods and walks back into the kitchen. The woman looks back down and her eyes light up, bright compared to the usual dull brown. A smile creeps across her face as the screen changes.

• I wonder who she’s texting?
• OMG, do you think a boy asked her to be his valentine?
• Probably!!
• Through text? How pathetic.
• Oh hush, most of us don’t even get a text.
• I heard that a girl from the high school got a boy to give her a “Be Mine” cupcake.
• What the heck?! How?
• Awwww, that’s so cute!
• I wish somebody would do that for me.

The waiter comes back with the woman’s order, her regular americano with two spoons of sugar. She is now smiling widely at her screen, tapping her keypad eagerly. Suddenly, her face scrunches. She peers at the top of her phone at the incoming notification.

• What is that? Another text?
• I wonder who it’s from.
• Look, it says it is from “Bestie 💝🤪🤪”
• Oh! They must be talking about the guy who asked her out!

The woman’s face drops as she grips her phone in anger.

• Oh no look what it says
• He asked “Bestie”?
• But she was texting him…
• But he was texting her?
• Are there two hims?
• No. There’s one him and two hers.

She gets up from the table while pursing her lips. She clutches her phone and aggressively chucks her untouched coffee in the trash.