Previously published Jun 2. 2021
Disclaimer: The Bunion is not responsible for any bad grades, missed homework, angry teachers, or failed AP scores. May you always read a Bunion and never actually have a Bunion.
As we now enter April of 2021, there is one thing we can no longer refuse to acknowledge the existence of AP Exams. Although it is common for students worldwide to block out exams from their minds simply, the situation is starting to look bleaker and bleaker. Therefore, we now present this much-needed article for you to read. Put down your coffee and desperate cramming materials, and carefully consult these instructions to prevent a mental breakdown before taking these tests.
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This is a revolutionary method in the intellectual world, and after using it, you will immediately feel much more relieved. In fact, it is guaranteed to help, if not altogether solve, the cause of your stress. The name of this method is crying. Indeed, one of the best ways to get rid of stress is to start hysterically sobbing about your own insecurities and failings. The process is straightforward: simply start thinking about the impending exams, and your eyes automatically start watering. Other ways of enhancing this method’s effectiveness are to hole up in your room all alone in the dark while eating ice cream and petting your cat. As frequent users of this method, we can guarantee its success.
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Another foolproof method the Bunion Office highly recommends is WTMBM, also known as the Worship the Mighty Brad Pitt Method. The concept of this method is simple—draw on all your passion and love for the mighty Brad Pitt, and he, in turn, will save you from your suffering. We at the Bunion Office use this method every Wednesday to fend off all of our issues, including but not limited to unpaid mortgages, unsigned divorce papers, and predilections toward urinating in public. While most of us are being kicked out of our homes, and some of us will be going to prison, we still trust in the mighty Brad Pitt and believe he is simply moving at his own pace and will shower us all with gifts in good time. Make sure to purchase Brad Pitt merchandise from the official Bunion website!
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An excellent method we heavily recommend is sleeping. Others may tell you that since exams are coming up, you should spend all that time studying the material you ignored in class. We say to ignore them. You can either spend the next four weeks continually freaking out and cramming material, or you can procrastinate and delay all the stress as much as possible by sleeping. Obviously, the choice is the second option. Continue willfully denying that you have to take the AP, and you will enjoy a peaceful month before you start freaking out again two hours before the test.
