Interview with Mr. Adams: Pigeons, Space Tourism, and Gunpoint Robberies

How much do you really know about your teacher? Sure, you might know their favorite color or what sports they like, but what about the real issues like what their favorite flightless bird is? Keep reading to learn more about Mr. Adams and his answers to a series of insightful questions.

Angela: Okay, first question! How long do you think you would survive in a zombie apocalypse?

Mr. Adams: I think that depends on the people around me. Like I offer some skills…

Angela: Like, just you by yourself.

Mr. Adams: Me by myself?

Angela: Yeah. And everyone around you is, like, basically been turned into zombies.

Mr. Adams: I mean, I’ve watched a lot of Walking Dead, so I guess I got some strategies to make it through a couple weeks.

Angela: A couple weeks? Wow, okay.

Mr. Adams: I mean, well, it depends on how easy it is to find fresh water and food.

Angela: Interesting. Okay, number two. On an average day, how many pigeons do you think you could reasonably carry?

Mr. Adams: To continue my last answer, you know, take no day for granted. Pigeons? How many could I what?

Angela: Like, how many do you think you can carry? Like, if I asked you to go from this end of the room [gestures at one end of the engineering classroom] to that end of the room [gestures at other end of the engineering classroom], how many pigeons do you think you could hold while doing that?

Mr. Adams: So I have over 100 AP students. I’m pretty sure I could carry 100 pigeons.

Angela: 100 pigeons? Okay… number 3. What was your best ever Halloween costume?

Mr. Adams: Uh, probably the best was Tin Man.

Angela: Like from Wizard of Oz?

Mr. Adams: It had a one-by-one piece of sheet metal attached to hinges that would open and you know those electroluminescent panels? There’s a heart that blinked. And then the funnel? I took apart, like, a little bottle and then filled it with water and dropped little dry ice pellets in it so there’s “steam” coming out of the top.

Angela: How old were you when you wore that?

Mr. Adams: Mid-twenties…

Angela: Ohh, so not recently. Number four. If you could be any Skittle, what color would you be? You should have a reason too.

*Long pause*

Mr. Adams: Uh, like safety vest yellow.

Angela: So just yellow?

Mr. Adams: Like neon yellow, construction site yellow.

Angela: Any reason?

Mr. Adams: It sounds like a good Skittle color. It’s vibrant.

Angela: Number five. What’s the craziest thing on your bucket list? That’s school appropriate. 

*Long pause*

Mr. Adams: Uhm. I guess I need a better bucket list.

Manasi: I don’t even have a bucket list.

Angela: Would you go, like, skydiving? I would go.

Manasi: This is influencing his choice.

Angela: What? I’m just giving him suggestions.

Mr. Adams: I would enjoy some space tourism where you would get to experience, like, weightlessness and free fall for an extended period of time.

Angela: Like actually going into space?

Mr. Adams: Low-earth orbit would be enough.

Angela: Is Elon Musk doing that right now? Didn’t he take like a really old lady up? No? (Fact Check: It was actually Jeff Bezos who took an 82-year-old woman into space in 2021.)

Manasi: What are you even saying?

Mr. Adams: Lots of cool people have gone up to space. William Shatner made it up to space, he’s old, so… Yeah, I think I’d enjoy low earth orbit for uh… I feel like it would be a cool long weekend of, like, low earth orbit. [Manasi: Lowkey, yeah.] It’s a little bit terrifying but also I think the idea of going into orbit and then dealing with reentry would be really really fun. Skydiving? That’s amateur. [Manasi: He just called you amateur.] Orbital reentry? That’s why they must prepare. 

Angela: I get motion sick so I don’t think that would work out for me. Okay, number six. What is your real favorite movie, and what movie do you pretend is your favorite to sound cultured?

*Long pause*

Angela: Are these hard questions?

Manasi: These are hard questions.

Mr. Adams: See… if I’m being honest, I have a favorite movie that’s … in the sense that it contains pretty much all the things that are, like, not appropriate for middle school or young high school students. But it’s got a really great kind of like… it’s not immoral, it certainly has, like, a really thought out plot and…

Manasi: Is it a known movie?

Mr. Adams: Yeah.

Angela: Is it [redacted]? I feel like a lot of people like [redacted].

Mr. Adams: No…. Does this mean that you’ve seen [redacted]?

Angela: Yeah…. I’ll put “redacted” on the transcript. 

Mr. Adams: Redacted? Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know… my favorite movie has like… it has a lot of adult themes in it, but it addresses them in ways that make people look like humans and deals with it like they’re flawed. And it has natural consequences of being flawed. 

Manasi: What movie do you pretend is your favorite?

Angela: Like, if a sixth grader came up to you right now and asked you what’s your favorite movie, what would you say to them? 

Mr. Adams: Uhm. That’s tough. This makes me uncomfortable. I picked Miracle for my favorite movie (for the homeroom contest).

Angela: Oh! Is that the hockey one?

Mr. Adams: Yeah.

Angela: That’s kind of basic. You’re not gonna change it? Like Frozen? Or like a Disney movie maybe?

Mr. Adams: What? Miracle is Disney.

Angela: Wait, what’s Miracle? 

Mr. Adams: Miracle is the one with hockey teams. 

Angela: I thought that was like…that’s Disney?

Mr. Adams: Yeah. It’s live action Disney.

Angela: I’m cutting that out. Okay, uhm. Seven! What’s something about you that people would be surprised to know?

Mr. Adams: Oh, if you want a movie that makes me sound cultured, Synecdoche.

Angela: How do you spell that?

Mr. Adams: Crazy, crazy movie. Synecdoche, S-y-n-e-c-d-o-c-h-e.

Angela: This is R-rated. I don’t know if I would be allowed to put this in. 

*Manasi searches it up on her computer*

Angela: Is it that?

Mr. Adams: Yeah, this. This is absurd. It’s insane. It’s like people making a movie about making a movie and building an entire world and inside that world, they build a world. It’s like Inception, but cultured.

Angela: I don’t think I’m cultured enough to know this. 

Manasi: Wait, it was released when we were born. 

Angela: That’s crazy. Last question, what’s something about you that people would be surprised to know? Actually, not last question. There’s one more.

Manasi: What about the cheese question?

Angela: Who cares about cheese?

*Pause*

Angela: Wait, scratch that, that’s a hard question. What’s your favorite kind of cheese? Or did you want to answer that?

Mr. Adams: That’s not fair. I was about to say I was robbed at gunpoint.

Angela: Oh! Okay, okay. That’s interesting.

Manasi: Wait, expand.

Mr. Adams: I was robbed at gunpoint. I was in Pennsylvania at my family reunion and it was, like, the middle of the night. I was hanging out with my cousins, we were, like, star watching on a beach, and like, three random dudes walk up to us and we’re like, “Oh, hey what’s up, how are you doing?” And they’re like, “Actually not so good, times are tough, so give us all your money, click.” The craziest thing is we were in this area where there’s only two roads in and out, and they chose the one that went right by the police station. So we instantly called 911 and like two minutes later, they literally got to the police station and the cop was just standing in the middle of the road. It was insane.

Angela: They did not think that out. Okay, actual last question. What is your favorite flightless bird? Flightless is a general definition. Like what you think is flightless.

Mr. Adams: Can’t I bring this full circle? AP students.

Angela: Okay…. Thank you!

*Mr. Adams later informed us that pigeons were his favorite flightless bird, but we had to break it to him and let him know that pigeons, in fact, can fly. Therefore, he defaulted back to his original answer.