The K-pop Industry’s Stigma Around Dating

Money, glory, and fame are all words we associate with the dazzling and perfect life of a K-pop idol. Many young girls and boys seek to achieve the dream life of an idol, putting in countless hours of work and effort. Yet, beneath all that perfection and prestige in the K-pop industry lies numerous unseen problems. Idols are overworked for money, sexualized to appeal to audiences’ taste for profit, and despite the huge amount of profit the K-pop industry generates, they are actually in extreme debt from their trainee days. Trainees—idols in training—work their butts off all for the empty promise of a slight glimmer of hope to gain a slim fraction of the fame in the industry. In the end, many of them don’t even get a chance to debut in a group and showcase their skills. Even if they do end up making it out of the training phase, their idol journey is far from smooth sailing. Starting in August 2023 and ongoing till October 2024, Seunghan, a member of the boy group RIIZE, was involved in a scandal that exposed the K-pop industry’s toxic attitude toward idols dating.

The Scandal

Pictures of Seunghan, a member of the rising new K-pop boy group RIIZE under SM Entertainment, garnered attention but for all the wrong reasons. Seunghan was seen kissing a girl, whom people assumed to be his girlfriend. While that may seem normal and nothing out of the ordinary for the Western industry, as it’s common for many pop stars and celebrities to date, K-pop is the stark opposite. Fans were quick to comment on these pictures, with one side brutally attacking and criticizing Seunghan while the other side strongly defended him. The critics called him out for not maintaining an idol image, since K-pop idols are stereotyped as the “perfect” type of person with no flaws, meaning no smoking, dating, or drinking. They also attacked him for not prioritizing the group’s activities and called him selfish for prioritizing his personal life. However, the so-called “fans” did not just stop there. They went beyond this, eventually stirring up so much hate that Seunghan issued an apology and took a hiatus—a break from promoting group activities. Even though this may seem like it would quell and bring some peace to this issue, this only angered defenders of Seunghan, calling out obsessive fans for ruining a potential talent and crushing his dreams of being an idol. They called out those haters for caring too much about an idol’s personal life, arguing that just because Seughan has a personal life, doesn’t mean the group will flop. They complained that fans have crossed the line and criticized the mindset that they channeled—the idea that idols serve the fans just because they are the ones who support them.

On October 11, 2024, Seunghan returned to the group after his ten-month hiatus, but this decision was met with much scrutiny (mainly from the Korean public). Korean netizens were so enraged that they put up funeral wreaths in front of SM. The funeral wreaths ranged from $70 to $170 and said things like “RIIZE is six” (which excludes Seunghan from the original seven-member group), “Hong Seunghan out,” “Who Are You, Hong Seunghan?’ and “Seunghan, Leave.” Flower wreaths are a common form of protest in Korea and are legal as long as police are warned beforehand because they are seen as a symbolic expression of dissent under the country’s public demonstration laws. However, even if these are legal, the damage and harm that Seunghan may feel still penetrates through. The hate and opposition against Seunghan got so blown out of proportion that on October 13th he was officially removed from the group.

RIIZE after Seunghan was removed

The Problem

Even though the Seunghan issue might be over, it sheds light and brings attention to how messed up the K-pop industry is about dating. Fans get creepily obsessed with every single detail of the idol’s life. Many idols, not only Seunghan, have faced this issue of privacy invasion regarding their personal life. Karina, a member of the prominent girl group AESPA, broke up with her boyfriend after their relationship was exposed to the public eye.

But beyond just simply invading an idol’s privacy, the bigger problem is the toxic mindset fans have against dating. Many fans think they have a chance to date idols, so when an idol is rumored that they’re in a relationship, these delusional fans get angry because it ruins their fanatical thoughts. What drives this unhealthy mindset is that companies give in to these delusions for the sake of profit, as fans are crucial to a group’s success because they are the ones boosting music sales by buying merchandise and going to concerts. For example, SM forced Seunghan to apologize for dating, for simply enjoying teenage things prior to RIIZE’s debut just to appease the public and garner the fans’ money and support. Companies feed into the fans’ delusion that the fans control the idols and that they have power over them. Obsessive and creepy honestly.

Ultimately, the fear of being caught dating has spread into a larger issue, transforming the K-pop industry into a lackluster and boring one. Previously, there have been many iconic friendships between male and female idols. However, idols today are reluctant to interact with the opposite gender due to fears of sparking dating rumors. Unlike the older generations of K-pop, modern idols are under immense pressure to maintain distance, which often prevents them from forming even platonic friendships. This creates an unfortunate dynamic within the industry, where genuine connections are stifled by the constant threat of scandals. In past times, K-pop award shows used to be a fun time where groups could cheer each other on and enjoy themselves. However, in recent times, fans have gotten more and more obsessive, to the extent that idols get called out for dating rumors for looking at each other. Simply looking. This has caused award shows to be exceedingly awkward and boring because the idols are just watching other groups perform without any expression on their face.

The K-pop industry has ruined so many relationships, both between platonic idols and idol’s personal relationships. Fans have transformed this industry into a completely new boring one that’s just so sad because everyone feels the need to never interact with the other gender to avoid dating rumors. Crazy fans get mad at idols for dating because it doesn’t feed into their delusions, like what, they think they own the idols? Fans idolize and put the idol on a pedestal and yet dream of dating them? Companies don’t help solve these problems either. In fact, they fuel the fan bases with their wacko delusions to gain profit. In the long run, it’s a win-win situation for the company and the fans at the expense of the idols. The company gains profit and money, fans continue with their delusions but idols get stripped of any dignity left and are left with no privacy. Fans should understand that just because they support the idol doesn’t give them the power to control every aspect of the idol’s life. Let idols live their lives.

Sources

Gilbert, Nyla. “Hong Seunghan’s Riize Departure Sparks Backlash.” Hong Seunghan’s RIIZE Departure Sparks Backlash – The Post, 21 Oct. 2024, www.thepostathens.com/article/2024/10/kpop-riize-seunghan-sm-entertainment 

Yasmin, Shahana. “How £55 Funeral Wreaths Sent by Disgruntled K-Pop Fans Became a Public Menace.” The Independent, The Independent, 29 Nov. 2024, www.the-independent.com/asia/east-asia/kpop-south-korea-funeral-wreaths-riise-seunghan-bts-suga-b2655352.html