BISV Upgrades

Previously published Oct. 29, 2020

Disclaimer: The Bunion is not responsible for any bad grades, missed homework, and/or angry teachers. May you always read a Bunion and never have a bunion.

BASIS Independent Silicon Valley is known to strive for the best for its students. And, after a difficult year, BISV has brought NEW UPGRADES to the campus. We are all so excited for these to finally take place!

First, our windows’ insides have been altered to have a mirror-like surface, just like the outside of the building. As when surveyed, many said what they loved most about BISV was the beautifully reflective exterior. However, we are certain every member of our student body loves our school’s insides, rich with spirit and culture, just as much. Unfortunately, students do not get to see their favorite part about BISV since they spend the entirety of their days inside, which is why we have decided to bring their favorite feature to them. Every inch of the interior windows is now an exact replica of the exterior view; everything which can be seen outside can now be seen inside, including the especially unique hole on the second-floor window. Of course, if the student would prefer, the walls can also be flipped and used as mirrors. Then, they can spend all their class time blatantly admiring their beautiful faces, just like how the people walking outside of BISV check themselves out in what they think is the epitome of subtlety.

The second upgrade we have brought is that we have upgraded our ordinary, but of course, pulchritudinous building to be roofless. Many have suggested that a real ceiling of a different design be installed in our rooms, although our current, hole-filled ceiling does give our building a rather rustic look. Since we have invested all of our money into building a rather strangely designed “ceiling,” we have decided to eliminate the roof. The entire third floor will be roofless, and there will be a hollow center in the building so all students can experience the upgrades. Our roofless building provides many unique features, as it will supply our students with more than enough sunlight, but we are, of course, not responsible for sunburns. We also have carefully considered the current situation with COVID-19 still spreading and realized that we would be completely free of problems with a completely open roof. It ensures everyone’s safety, almost like filling ourselves up with disinfectants. Of course, we have also thought about the possibility of rain. Still, the beauty, radiance, and sensibility of having no roof simply have too many advantages to be shot down by rain.

These new upgrades will be implemented as soon as upper school students return to campus. We hope you’re just as excited as we are!