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The Curse of Tippecanoe
The Curse of Tippecanoe
February 15, 2024

Boy Band Galore

Previously published Jan. 14, 2021
Boy Band Galore

Previously published Jan. 14, 2021

Disclaimer: The Bunion is not responsible for any bad grades, missed homework, and/or angry teachers. May you always read The Bunion and never actually have a bunion.

On the hot summer day of July 17th, 2010, five hauntingly beautiful voices joined together to create songs known for sensational rhythm and beautiful lyrics. That fateful night was the beginning of the immensely successful boy band group: 3.14159 Directions. These talented boys rocked the world with their unique songs, such as “Hi Hi Hi” or “That’s What Makes You Intelligent.” However, on the tragic day of December 21st, 2018, one member walked out, and the band disintegrated like powdered sugar in boiling water. Teenage girls everywhere mourned the loss of their idols.

The Bunion is here to bring hope back to the tattered hearts of their loyal fans, who, to this day, honor the band every July 17th. After seven months of grueling investigation, we are ecstatic to announce that the members have been found, and they have been found in our very own BASIS Independent Silicon Valley. Yes, you heard that right. They are, in fact, part of the faculty at this school.

Below are the members of the iconic 3.14159 Directions. We present to you Christian Brady and Jon Noble.

Christian Brady

Christian Brady’s scruffy good looks and brilliant smile established his infamous reputation of being a “player.” Did you think Kylie Jenner was the queen of lips? You should’ve seen Christian Brady at the height of his fame. He is proficient in multiple languages, including French, Mandarin, and Czech (students can now ask him how to pronounce BISV’s new name correctly). The only language he loathes is Latin. Mr. Brady is currently the Dean of 10th – 12th grades.

Jon Noble

Jon Noble was the bass voice of the band. His deep, sultry voice has lulled many to sleep at night. Fans wanted him to become an ASMR artist, whispering sweet nothings into their ears. He is the shortest of the six (in the BISV faculty, he is still on the shorter side at a mere 6 feet 4 inches, but we don’t hold that against him). Jon Noble was the driving force behind their hit song “Hi Hi Hi” and danced to a parody of it in the Lip Sync Battle (“Bye Bye Bye”). Now Mr. Noble teaches Honors Physics and likes to record his height to see if he will ever beat his coworkers.

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About the Contributors
Amber Wu, Creative Director
Claire Wu, Co-Editor-in-Chief

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