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BISV: the RPG Video Game (English Teacher Edition)

Previously Published Oct. 13, 2022
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The BarBEARian (Ms. Silva)

Ms. Silva is the front line defense of the team along with her one million bear summons. She heroically leads her army to victory with their special move, “BEARicade.” She has a thousand percent success rate of winning battles due to her extensive knowledge in business, as she crushes her competitors thoroughly while leaving no crumbs. Her most common catchphrases are “I hate to be the BEARer of bad news” and “This is going to be emBEARassing for you!” Her ultimate move, “BarBEARian,” transforms her into a ferocious beast of nature, giving her a strength and defense buff. To unlock a secret duel with her, just offer her a cup of Nestlé coffee and she will knock you out with her BEAR hands.

 
 
The General of War (Ms. Banga)

 

Ms. Banga is the ferocious general of war. Her insane strategies paired with her astounding stats have never failed her in combat. From submerging Atlantis to inspiring Odysseus with a notion of the Trojan Horse, she’s an all-rounder. Rumor has it that the Greek Gods themselves took notes from her. Recently, she retired from her position so she can train students to lead the next generation of wars. Her most famous move in training is the “Annotation Check Pop Quiz Triple Combo.” Participate in class and she will drop a power up jolly rancher containing the strength of Hercules.
 
The Indestructible/One-Hit (Mr. Hansen)
Mr. Hansen was known as the invincible main dps of the team, but only a handful of his comrades in battle are familiar with his heart wrenching backstory. Born from the ashes of the Nebraskan corn fields, extracted from nutritional soil that was fertilized by the excrements of a million bears, processed through a whirlpool of crying chickens, and smelted from 100% recyclable and biodegradable metal, Mr. Hansen, a sad robot, has been having an identity crisis. He recently invaded the abode of the Master of the Mystic Language Arts to add some spice to his passionless metal, but he wasn’t prepared to trade 100 defense for 10 magic, resulting in the nickname “One-hit.” His most humiliating defeat was when he was knocked out by an adorable, bloodthirsty pomeranian. Now, he engages in “Bro-talks” where he lets it all out alongside his loyal bro-students.
 
Master of the Mystic Language Arts (Mr. Brady)
Note: These stats have already been inflated to their maximum potential
 

 

Mr. Brady A.K.A the Master of the Mystic Language Arts is a game changer. Unlike the other characters on this list, he doesn’t prance around on the battlefield. Instead, he tears empires down from within. He may be lacking in Defense, Power, Speed, and Magic, but he is an expert in the art of deception. Trained in politics through years of playing King’s Dilemma past his bedtime, he is a sharpened blade in courts. You might be wondering how he defends himself from his murderous enemies. This wizard’s secret skill, “Nighty Night”, can get even the strongest adversaries to fall asleep. He activates it through a series of lectures on his favorite subject, Latin. Get to level 50 on the game Achaea and he will bestow upon you “a large amount of Extra Credit.”
 
Bonus Character
Rufus
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About the Contributors
Pooja Prabakaran, Co-Editor-in-Chief
Alina Huang, Arts Editor

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