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The Quill

The Generosity of the School

Previously Published Jan. 5, 2023
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I think our school is teaching us to be generous. That is why they donate everything in the lost and found. Think about it this way. If the school really wanted us to get all our stuff back, then why not encourage people to get their lost stuff back? And when I say encourage, I mean actually encouraging people to go get their stuff back. Not stuffing it in between all the junk that comes through in the announcements.
 
“We would like to remind you (for the fifth time) that late bird will not be held in the cafeteria today…”
 
By then people are already going back to what they were doing before. If the announcer interrupts a class, I’m sure the teachers will also be eager to continue their classes. So if the reminder that all students should go get their lost stuff comes in between an announcement about a basketball game (for the third time over the loudspeakers, not to mention in every homeroom announcement for the last five days) and the Quill (which, in my opinion, is boring. If you’re still reading this essay, I congratulate you on having more patience than your teachers), I doubt more than thirty percent of the school is still listening. If the school actually wanted us to get our stuff, they should give a separate announcement. Make sure it isn’t all together with the other stuff. Give it right before homeroom, and also make someone else do the announcements. Instead of the voice we’re used to hearing during an announcement, which would (sorry about this), unfortunately, shut off most of our brains, put somebody with, like, a very unique voice around these parts. Maybe someone with a British accent, or a Scottish one? That would surely get all student’’’s attention. Then give the announcement in a way that is memorable. Instead of the normal, old, boring language that nobody remembers, instead say something like:,
 
“We recently found a twenty-dollar bill in the lost and found, so you should go check if it’s yours.”
 
Now, obviously, you wouldn’t have to actually put a twenty-dollar bill there, but the incentive would inadvertently make people realize, when they go check for that money, things like: “Oh, my jacket” or “Oh, my textbook” or “Oh, a Fahrenheit 451 with completed annotations!” I think by the end of the day, the lost and found would be almost empty.
One last piece of advice. If you really want students to get their stuff back, maybe the lost and found shouldn’t be in the corner of the B-stairwell. Maybe it should be next to the front entrance, so people actually remember to look for their stuff. Here’s the final point to back up my claim that the school would much prefer to donate everything.
Next to the front door entrance, in the most obvious place in the school, stands the donation snowman, and two boxes, where students can give gifts to those less fortunate.
Obviously, I don’t hate poor people, and I would actually support donating most of the stuff in the lost and found. So I think the school should continue to remind us in the most boring fashion to go get any of our lost stuff. I’m sure someone out there would really appreciate the water bottle.
 
P.S. Definitely donate to the less fortunate. We, together, can make other’s lives better
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Maximilian Guo, Staff Writer

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