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The Quill

Time for Turkey

Previously published Dec 15. 2020

Previously published Dec 15. 2020

Disclaimer: The Bunion is not responsible for any bad grades, missed homework, and/or angry teachers. May you always read The Bunion and never actually have a bunion.

Turkey, turkey, turkey. That’s all everyone talks about on Thanksgiving. The overrated food. The driest of all the meats. Makes me want to become a vegetarian. Not to mention the Turducken! Duck stuffed in chicken stuffed in turkey? A disaster waiting to happen. That’s right, Sandy. Your “innovative Thanksgiving meal” tasted harrowingly abominably detestable. Everybody was lying to you. The poor turkey was not atrociously murdered for you to go and make a meal that only you thought was delicious. Sorry for that rant.

Anyhoo, you know what is a Thanksgiving meal and won’t make your family and friends try to paste on a fake smile while gagging under their breaths? Apricot, sage, and sausage stuffed turkey. They will at least be able to make their fake smile seem genuine with this one. Delicious, dry turkey complemented with juicy, wet fruits, bits of meat that will add some extra dehydration to your supper, and some healthy herbs that could ruin your carb- and protein-filled bite with a bit of greenness. What’s not to like?


12 ounces of sausage
2 cups of cornbread crumbs
¼ cup melted butter
⅓ cup chicken broth
1 cup chopped nuts
½ cup chopped dried apricots
2 stalks sliced celery
1 chopped onion
½ tsp salt
½ tsp sage/herbs
⅛ tsp pepper
10 lb turkey breast
3 tbsp melted butter

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