Report: Haunted Activity at BISV

You think the BISV building isn’t haunted? Think again! On more than one occasion, terrified students have rushed into the Ultra-Hidden-Super-Secretively-Secret Bunion Headquarters on the first floor, trembling with fear in order to recall yet another supernatural incident. How frightening! For this year’s Halloween, we at the Bunion will be presenting some of the scary tales that the students of our school have reported to us (anonymously, of course).

To begin with, let’s go over some of the past, more well-known incidents the Bunion has covered in the past. One of the earlier instances of supernatural activity within the BISV building details the crying ghost causing water leaks last year (there was also a report of something haunting the bathroom stalls a while ago, but that was debunked after the Bunion’s reporters discovered it was just Rufus). The Bunion also received some other reports across previous years, but most of them mysteriously disappeared after a few hours, and no one at the Bunion has been able to find out why (the only reason the crying ghost report was not stolen was because one of our staff members brought the report home and out of the range of the mystery thief). The current most popular theory amongst our staff is that the mystery thief is Rufus, who may be trying to cover up the secrets of the BISV building. Though, we will likely never know.

One of the most recent supposed ghost sightings was reported in the A Stairwell, by the right side of the building, at the beginning of the school year. An especially terrified student reported the sighting of a shadowy figure standing atop a flight of stairs leading to the second floor and ominously staring down, repeatedly whispering “wrong stairwell… go back down…” This seems to be a remnant of long past times, when stairwells were directional and any student who dared head in the opposite direction was often stopped. Perhaps this ghost that remains in the stairwell had once been put to the task of stopping anyone who tried to head upstairs on the former down stairwell; however, with the stairwells now being bi-directional, this poor ghost has since lost its purpose but has remained within the stairwell out of a falsified sense of belonging. We suspect that giving a pat on the head or any other comforting motion may both make the ghost feel better and cause it to appear less frequently.

Another report included a lengthy complaint about the constant freezer temperature of the cafeteria, thinly veiled under a conspiracy that some magical refrigerator is trying to freeze everyone alive. Despite the long series of unhelpful comments we received from the student who filed the report (“It’s far too cold in there, I can’t do anything productive” and “Who even let that place become so cold?” were repeated multiple times throughout, making it a rather tiring read for our Bunion staff), we believe that the magical refrigerator theory may have some validity to it. There are at least two known locations with refrigerators present within the BISV building – the teachers’ lounge and the cafeteria room where ordered lunches are stored. The Bunion has been unable to secure permission to investigate the cafeteria’s refrigerators, which makes us suspect there is something special about them. It would also explain why the contents of school lunches seem… ever so slightly suspicious at times. However, it could also easily be the effect of a hidden fridge we have been unable to locate. The Bunion is still continuing to investigate these refrigerators to reach a conclusion on this case.

Finally, a student reported several cases of their belongings, ranging from binders to their laptop to an entire Case-It, mysteriously disappearing at school and reappearing a few days later in the lost-and-found. They continually insisted that it was not a result of their own carelessness, but rather an unknown creature messing with them. Lo and behold, we investigated and discovered a pair of little gremlins that went around nabbing items from unsuspecting students. They seem to target school supplies specifically, with notebooks, binders, and Case-Its being the most commonly stolen items, as they discovered that a lack of these tends to get students in trouble with their teachers. Though, the gremlins don’t target technology, and there are no signs of other little critters that target laptops and phones, so the student’s loss of technological devices seems to be more because of their own carelessness. Even so, all students should be careful to ensure none of their school supplies are missing. The current range of people the gremlins target are unknown, but better safe than sorry!

These are three of the most recent cases that the Bunion has investigated, each being more mysterious than the last. Though, there are more spooky questions at this school that have yet to be answered. For instance, the Bunion has numerous files and documents on [REDACTED] [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [CENSORED], and [REDACTED], and many more mysterious mysteries that cannot be revealed at this time. Stay tuned as the Bunion continues to investigate the supernatural activity surrounding our school!