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Boy Band Galore: The Sequel

Previously Published Oct. 13, 2022
Remember those “five hauntingly beautiful voices” that brought the teenage girls (and some of the boys) of the 2010s to tears? Remember those heartthrobs who performed some of the most iconic hits of the century? The staggering, stupefying, sensational boy band: 3.14159 Directions has once again made it back to the front page of The Bunion. Their once-buried story was immortalized by a brilliant pair of investigative journalists, Claire and Amber W., who told a story of glory, fame, and fortune. But that wasn’t the full picture – here was more to the story than it seemed, buried deep beneath the surface. And today, we
 
have finally uncovered the full tale: a tale of struggle, of compromise, and finally, of destruction.
 
Now, let’s begin where the story left off. After our beloved boy band went their separate ways the first time, not everyone was satisfied with their band’s conclusion. “Ending it here didn’t truly feel right,” Dr. Noble commented. As such, several members of the band decided to work together to form a revival: namely, Dr. Noble, Mr. Nielsen and Mr. Brady. However, certain members had already come to terms with the disbandment and were already following their own paths. For instance, one of them had set his sights on becoming a water samurai who protected women (if you know, you know), and moved to Japan for that reason. In order to fill the gaps in their lineup, the remaining three members recruited several new members to assist in their revival. The newest members, Mr. Hansen and Dr. Parson, passed the audition. “When I received the acceptance letter, I was overjoyed. I’m sure Dr. Parson felt the same way too,” Mr. Hansen noted. “Both of us were big fans of 3.14159 Directions before its initial disbanding, and we were incredibly happy to be a part of its revival.” Together, the five of them worked together and planned out their revival concert: “πR*R” (Read as “3.14159 Revival * Rally”).
 
And then, the fateful day of their revival arrived.
 
Before we begin discussing what exactly happened during the revival concert that ultimately spelled the demise of the band, we must first introduce a character with great importance to this story: the famous, masked solo singer: Rufus Bobcat. If you’ve ever looked at music ranking charts, his name is surely familiar to you, as his songs always remain at the very top. Rufus is well known for his discography of incredibly groovy songs, which are incredibly
 
popular amongst the younger generations. His most famous song is “Bobcat Lights,” which remained at #1 for six whole months, setting an unprecedented record.
 
With Rufus’s introduction out of the way, let us continue the story of the revival concert. On the day of the revival concert, everything was going according to the plans the five of them had meticulously laid out. All instruments had been tuned beforehand, the audio systems had been tested and were guaranteed to be working, and everyone was ready to go. As the five of them were just about to step onto stage, they were interrupted by the loudspeakers, which started blaring out unfamiliar music. The members of 3.14159 Directions rushed out on stage, only to see a strange sight: a masked singer singing their heart out on their stage. The five of them didn’t have the heart to kick out someone who was performing so wholeheartedly and decided to wait, but in the end, 3.14159 Directions never were able to perform their revival live. With that, the band fell apart once again. The difference is th
 
at this time, there would be no second try, no revival, no nothing. This was the final ending of 3.14159 Directions.
 
This mysterious masked singer, whom we now know as Rufus Bobcat, was an unknown solo artist struggling to survive in the cruel, harsh music industry. As such, he had to make use of everything that he co
 
uld, which included interfering with other live shows that were being held in order to try to spread his music and gain fame within the music industry. Rufus’s tactics were not all that rare at the time, though. “The music industry at that time felt more like a battle royale than… well, a music industry. Everyone had to fight each other to survive,” Mr. Nielsen recalled. “Our group was among the luckier ones… we managed to gain fame without too much trouble. I don’t think any of us regret being able to help Rufus,” he concluded. Of course, many fans were upset by how the revival ended, but most of them eventually would become fans of Rufus as well, and let go of the past. One anonymous fan reported that, during Rufus’s conclusion speech for his BISWorld Tour in 2021, Rufus actually thanked the members of 3.14159 Directions for leading him to where he is now, causing many fans to break out in tears due to how sincere the speech was, and not because of anger.
 
In the end, Rufus has now become the top solo singer in the world, and all 3.14159 Directions members have reunited under the BISV faculty. And so, the famous band that once took over the world with their music is now simply a relic of the past, one that will be cherished by their former fans for years to come.
 
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Cindy Lu, The Bunion Editor

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