A Jazzy Guide on How to Bag a Baddie

Disclaimer: Take all advice with a grain of salt 🙂

“Valentine’s Day approaches. You have no huzz. What do you do? 

An impending sense of doom descends upon you, and the prospect of being single and dateless while all your friends laugh at you seems quite likely. Will you ever find love? What even is love? As you sit in your room all alone, pondering your choices and questioning how you got to this point in life, you stumble upon a strange article.

‘How to Bag a Baddie’

You narrow your eyes, suspicious of its legitimacy. Did your computer read your mind? Well, reading it can’t do any harm, right? You do need some baddies in your life right now, after all…”

If this is you right now, then you’ve found the right place! As a BISV student, I’m sure you’re aware of the academic success of all the students in our school, but unfortunately, that is far from true when we consider the romantic aspects. But fear not and listen attentively, because by the end of this article, you are guaranteed to be a pro at bagging any baddie you want.

So, first of all, some of you may be wondering, “What does ‘bagging a baddie’ even mean?” It’s really quite simple: it’s modern slang for successfully pulling someone that you find attractive. Despite the dramatic wording, it doesn’t actually involve bags or kidnapping. We’re not teaching you to commit crimes, after all. That said, it would be a crime if you didn’t keep reading – we have so much in store for you!

Before jumping into all the wonderful advice we have for you, let’s first gain a deeper understanding of the history of Valentine’s Day. 

Valentine’s Day is a holiday celebrated every year on February 14 in the name of St. Valentine, but did you know that this widely-celebrated holiday today was inspired by the ancient Roman holiday Lupercalia, which was originally meant to promote crops and human fertility? With these ancient roots in mind, who exactly was St. Valentine? The Catholic Church recognizes three difas celebrated on February 15, was dedicated to the Roman god of agriculture; some believed the St. Valentine’s feast was commemorated then to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. To initiate the festival, Roman priests would go to the cave where their nation’s honored founders, Romulus and Remus, were supposedly born. There, they would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification. They would then take the sacrificial blood and the goat skin to slap women. The young women would then place their names in an urn for the city’s bachelors to choose and pair up with. Isn’t it crazy how that tradition has evolved into giving candy hearts?

It makes one wonder, how did that turn into gift-giving? During the Middle Ages, there was a belief that February 14 was when birds began mating; then, when coupled with St. Valentine, the idea of a romantic day bloomed. In fact, English poet Geoffrey Chaucer was the first to link the holiday to romance in his writing. Following this trend, Valentine’s greetings grew popular throughout the Middle Ages. Did you know the oldest Valentine dates way back in 1415, when a Duke was captured and wrote to his wife? Written valentines evolved over the centuries, and by the middle of the 18th century, it was common for friends and lovers to exchange small tokens of affection. By the 19th century, mass-produced cards came into existence!

However, there is one last lingering question: where did that fat baby Cupid come from? Well, Cupid comes from the Roman God Cupid and the Greek god of love, Eros. He may have been the child of Aphrodite, but his family lineage is very messy. Cupid did not immediately get incorporated into the stories of Valentine’s Day until the Hellenistic period, where the gracious god of love began his depiction as a sneaky, chubby child.

Now that we’ve clarified the mysterious origins of Valentine’s Day for you, we’re finally ready to discuss what you actually came here for: how to bag a baddie without embarrassing yourself. Before we start handing out this life-changing wisdom, though, it’s important to emphasize that there’s no foolproof formula to pull. If there were, every single person at BISV would already be in a loving relationship, and there would be no point in writing this article. However, what we are sharing here are the experiences of our fellow students who have trial-and-errored through awkward interactions, so you don’t have to!

To gather the advice I have prepared for you, I asked around and interviewed fellow BISV students with one simple question: 

“If you were to give your friend some advice on how to bag baddies for Valentine’s Day, what would you say?”

Some answers were surprisingly insightful, while others were less so… Well, you can see for yourself:

• “YOU MISS ALL THE SHOTS YOU DON’T TAKE” – Lauren Z.

• “Be true to yourself. There’s no shame in liking someone” – Vivian L.

• “Girl, I’m the one who needs the advice” – Carolina S.

• “Hobbies are great conversation starters. Talking about something you’re passionate about is cool, and it’s a bonus if the other person likes that subject too.” – Nico G.

• “Be confident!” – Nathan Z.

• “Be the baddie in order to bag one” – Elin Y.

• “Don’t be stupid” – Annie Y.

• “Tell them (the girl) they look like a man” – Manant K.

What I’ve gathered from this is that bagging a baddie isn’t just about confidence and looking good – it’s about self-awareness and respect. While looks may catch someone’s attention, personality is what makes them stay. Knowing how to read the room, respect boundaries, and not center your entire existence around one person are some of the skills that will carry you far beyond this Valentine’s Day. 

To help us break this down, I consulted some other BISV students who kindly shared their insights in depth. And when I say in depth, I mean it. I took pages and pages of notes, and somehow they still weren’t done talking. Clearly, these people had wisdom to impart upon us, and it would be a crime not to share. Even so, what’s written here isn’t even a fraction of what they shared, which is honestly impressive.

First up, we have Jack Z., who you may recognize from pep rally K-pop performances and school plays. Clearly, his aura is unmatched, so I figured he’d be the perfect candidate to interview for this article. Jack emphasized that bagging a baddie starts with the basics: don’t be physically revolting. Sounds like common sense, right? Well, you’d be surprised. According to him, basic hygiene is non-negotiable — get a nice haircut, wear clean clothes that suit you, and generally just look like you respect yourself. Beyond appearances, confidence is key. It’s commonly heard, but it’s true. Being secure in who you are and acting naturally rather than putting on a fake persona to impress someone will draw people in more effectively than anything else ever could. In the end, he believes that the key to being attractive to the baddies is to learn from your mistakes, respect your boundaries, and not be a bad person. That, my friends, is the foundation of a successful relationship. After that, it’s out of your hands, but that’s okay! Let the baddies come to you. 

Next up, we have Evelyn W., ASB officer and K-Pop Club president, giving her input on the art of bagging baddies. Evelyn gave some long-term advice, saying that looks alone won’t carry a relationship far. While physical attraction matters to an extent, ambition, character, and personality matter far more. “Don’t just rely on looks,” she says. “If you get married, you’re going to get wrinkly anyway, so it doesn’t matter if you’re a baddie at 20.” She also encouraged students to prioritize themselves and their goals rather than letting their world revolve around a crush, because “crushes are temporary, but your future isn’t.” She also stressed the importance of being a good “person reader,” recognizing red flags and not falling in love with an idealized version of someone that doesn’t actually exist. Finally, she talked about decisiveness and respect, to not lead people on and not push when they’re not interested. “Just be considerate,” she said. And as a final note, she added, “And make sure to trim your toenails, get a good haircut, and wear deodorant – because yes, we can smell it.” Thanks for that insightful comment, Evelyn.

Of course, all this advice is great in theory, but at some point, you actually have to approach and talk to your baddie in question. I know, it’s terrifying, but it has to happen eventually. And this Valentine’s Day will be the day! One classic (but risky) method of cluing them in is the pickup line. It can be an excellent ice breaker. When executed correctly, congratulations, you have bagged yourself a baddie! When done wrong… well, at least you’ll be memorable in their eyes. 

Once again, we have asked our fellow BISV students for help. The question was: “What are your best pickup lines?” The vast majority of students claimed they didn’t have any, but a little persistence got us great results. Ultimately, we managed to compile these absolute gems. Once again, while some of these are actually quite good, the others are… not as good. But I’ll leave that to your judgement! Here they are:

• “Are you a squatter? Cause you’re illegally occupying all my thoughts.” – Rishaan D.

• “Will you be the 6 to my 7?” – Olivia X.

• “Are you a fart? Cause you just blew me away.” – Ariana L.

• “Are you free on the 14th? Cause I’m the 1 4 you” – Vivian L.

• “If I had a flower every time I thought of you, I’d give you your very own personal garden” – Vivian L.

• “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” (to be used when crush trips down the stairs) – Annie Y.

• “Do you ever get tired of running through my mind all the time?” – Elin Y.

• “Six seven eight nine, will you be my valentine?” – Instagram Reels

And that’s all I’ve got to say! At the end of the day, bagging a baddie isn’t about being perfect, and there’s no one way to pull it off. It’s all about having the confidence and self-respect to be comfortable in your own skin. Whether or not you take this advice, use one of these pickup lines, or completely throw everything away and panic, remember this: Valentine’s Day is just one day. There are plenty more to come! So, whether or not you want to put yourself out there and try your luck with your crush on February 14, just know that you’ll be fine either way.